I don’t know what’s wrong with me or why I’ve been feeling down lately.  More importantly I don’t know how to change this.  It seems like the things I’ve always wanted have become irrelevant and obsolete.  But what I do know is what I don’t want and I think that ridding my life of those things and people could be a good start to figuring this out.

Maybe I’m just overanalyzing everything.  After all, thinking too much keeps us hostage in our own bodies.

Seven love secrets.

———-

1) I have a girl crush on Candice Swanepoel. She’s stunning.

2) I think personality is way more important than looks. I’d take a kind heart over a six pack any day. (Not to imply that appearance is insignificant. Because it is.)

3) I’ve gone on dozens of dates, had 3 “official” boyfriends, but only one serious relationship.

4) Although I don’t advertise this much, I love my boyfriend. He’s the kindest and most caring person I’ve ever met, and he’s my best friend.

5) I tend to flirt a lot, but I would never cheat on someone.

6) I don’t get jealous easily. I’m confident in myself and in my relationship.

7) In the past, I have toyed with emotions and played games with guys.  I’m not proud of it, but admittedly it can be fun.

 Seven guilty pleasures.

———-

1) Shopping.

2) Tumblr.

3) “Say Yes To The Dress”

4) Starbucks.

5) Sleeping in late.

6) Redbull vodkas.

7) Revenge.

Seven worldly material desires.

———-

1) Money. This pretty much sums it up, considering that by definition material desires are things that can be bought with money.  No need to continue, buuut I will :)

2) Clothes and accessories. Chanel, Marchesa, Christian Louboutin, Louis Vuitton, Versace, Elie Saab, Lanvin, etc. Just look at my blog!

3) A luxury apartment in NYC.

4) A car of my choice.

5) A vacation house in the Hamptons or in the South of France.

6) A puppy. Not to imply that dogs are “material desires,” but only because I need money to buy & support one, and I really, really want a puppy.

7) A private jet. Wait, is that too much to ask for?

Seven things you neglect to do.

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1) Apply for jobs. 

2) Respond to emails.

3) Work out.

4) Save money.

5) Keep in touch with long distance friends.

6) Go to sleep/wake up at a reasonable hour.

7) Have I mentioned apply for jobs? Because that’s the only one that really matters at the moment.

Seven things that piss you off.

———-

1) When people are SO unreliable, their unreliability becomes reliable. 

2) Cockiness/arrogance. This is probably the most unattractive trait in a guy. 

3) Being told what to do.  Specifically unsolicited advice regarding my personal choices.  Live your own life.

4) Fake friends. (i.e. backstabbers, those who ditch you, two-faced bitches, etc.)

5) Cheating. I just don’t get it. If you don’t wanna be with someone, break up with them. 

6) The classic (entry-level) job search catch 22.  Most employers won’t hire unless you have “relevant experience” but in order to get said experience, you need someone to hire you. 

7) The fact that we do not know more about the universe and potential extraterrestrial life. And especially because we probably never will.

Seven things you lack & covet.

———-

1) Financial resources. Specifically having enough money to travel around the world. 

2) A job which makes me feel competent and useful. I really want to enjoy what I’m doing.

3) A natural talent like athletic ability or a beautiful singing voice.

4) Sometimes, confidence. I get into these moods when I feel like I’m not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough, etc. I’m usually confident but I have my moments.

5) Motivation. I’ve always been extremely ambitious but lately I have no motivation whatsoever. This is my own fault and I know it needs to change. Very soon.

6) Being able to see my extended family more often. Especially my grandparents. They live in Ukraine and I miss them so so so much.

7) Being able to live the lifestyle I want. I guess this goes back to financial resources, or maybe to motivation? Who knows.

Seven great things about yourself.

———-

1) People often say I have nice hair.

2) I’d like to think that I’m intelligent, considering that I successfully completed a dual degree in 4 years and graduated with a 3.8 GPA.

3) I don’t change my opinions and beliefs in order to get others’ approval. Often, I see girls completely change themselves to impress guys and act totally different when they are around, to the point that it’s really just hilarious. Be yourself.

4) My loyalty to my family and friends. Sometimes I may expect too much from others because I would be willing to do that much for them. 

5) Many people have told me that I have excellent style and good taste. (As you can tell by my blog), I love fashion, so this compliment means a lot to me. 

6) I have good manners. How you present yourself to others is how they will perceive you.

7) My ability to see things from different perspectives. I believe that people do the things they do for a reason, and it’s important to be able to understand diverse points of view.

It’s been almost 3 months since I started this tumblr and it has recently reached 100+ followers! So I just wanted to say thank you to all my dear followers and everyone else who visits my blog. Wherever you are and whoever you are, thank youu! 

xoxo

-Alexandra

I should be doing something productive with my time right now, like writing my paper or studying for my 4 exams this coming week or grading (over 150) student assignments, but instead I’ve found yet another way to distract myself.  Speaking of this week, it is the last week of classes ever.  And by “ever,” I mean until grad school.  But either way, it is the last week of college.

I still don’t know how I feel about that.  In less than 3 weeks I will be a college graduate.  Up until now, my entire life has been predetermined and for the first time ever, I don’t know what’s next.  All of this uncertainly is causing a lot of stress.  If you know me at all, you probably know that I’m extremely organized and like to have everything planned out, so this is particularity tough for me.  But some things you just can’t plan for, and as cliché as this sounds, I’ve decided that I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life (whatever it entails).  If there was a word for being in complete panic and at the same time extremely excited, it would perfectly describe how I feel.  The next best word to describe my current outlook is hopeful. There’s always hope.

“What are you doing after graduation?” If one more person asks me this, I might lose it.  Seriously, I cannot count the number of times I have been asked this question recently.  Granted, it is a great question.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to be successful.   Success and happiness, I think that’s all anyone wants out of life.